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  • Writer's pictureAre We Okay? A Memoir

The Ultimate Are We Okay? Aftermath To-Do List

As per usual, we have no idea what’s going on. Everything closed for months, nothing really changed (except the weather got nice?) and suddenly states are like “meh, it’s been long enough, you can go places and do things if you want… we don't care anymore. Just wear a mask, I guess?”

We've been thinking about what the world is going to look like after this mess: how we’re going to feel, where we're going to go, and the many things we can’t wait to do. Although we can’t say we agree with how this whole situation is being handled, being cooped up in our houses for almost 3 months has made us long for things that we never knew we wanted.

So we created the ultimate aftermath to-do list of activities we simply must do when the world (actually) goes back to “normal”:

  • Go on a road trip

  • Go backpacking

  • Go camping

  • Go skydiving

  • Go rafting

  • Hitchhike across the border

  • Go to the airport and buy a ticket to the cheapest destination

  • Move to a different country just for funzies

  • Go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and stay for breakfast, lunch and dinner

  • Pet 20+ dogs in one day

  • Ride a mechanical bull

  • Ride a real bull

  • Sleepover at Target

  • Run a half-marathon

  • Run a marathon and a half

  • Go to a nude beach

  • Learn how to surf

  • Partake in all the water sports

  • Go shopping in person and actually try things on

  • Order one dish from every single stand at a food court

  • Volunteer at an animal shelter

  • Buy a house

  • Try every single drink from Starbucks –– even the gross pink unicorn one

  • Go strawberry/apple picking

  • Milk a cow

  • Milk a goat

  • Go bowling and show off the amazing skills I learned on the Wii

  • Crash a random wedding reception

  • Get piercings or a tattoo at the sketchiest tattoo shop we can find

  • Get every single part of our body waxed

  • Live in a tent in Times’ Square

  • Fix our box-dyed hair

  • Get a professional hair cut

  • Kiss our mailman

  • Go to the Apple store for fun

  • Interview strangers on the street

  • Go to UPS and return all unnecessary quarantine purchases

  • Exercise next to people, with equipment, in a gym

  • Go to the movies for an entire day

  • Lick the floor of the movie theater

  • Lick a lamppost

  • Lick everything

  • Gamble away my "savings"

  • Go day drinking

  • Go barhopping till sunrise

  • Make out with strangers

  • Go to a rooftop

  • Go to a Rave

  • Go to a live concert

  • Crowdsurf

  • Go to a zoo and open all the cages

  • Go to Disney World

  • Go to a public swimming pool

  • “Accidentally” pee in the pool

  • Visit the Tiger King in jail

  • Punch Carole Baskin

  • Go on a boat

  • Steal a boat

  • Steal the Declaration of Independence

Are We Okay? Nah… but at some point we had to be okay with that.

*We know you can't wait to do every single item on this list, because they are all incredibly tempting, and make all the sense... but let's hold off for now until you can do them without getting the ‘rona?

**Shoutout to our followers for contributing to this list -- we love that you're just as weird as we are!

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