Post - Quarantine Theories, Part 1: Friendship

We don’t want to get our hopes up just yet, because it seems like we’re never getting out of this situation, but we guess a little imagination never hurt anyone. So let’s imagine, shall we? We are finally free, we have destroyed COVID-19 and it is now safe to leave home. Are we going to behave as we always did? Probably not. Here are some of our theories on how you, me, and everybody else will (most likely) behave after this nightmare is over.

Let’s start with the obvious: How are you going to act when you finally get to see your friends for the first time? You are practically incarcerated right now, and will probably have developed some sort of PTSD by the time this ends.

Saying hello

Usually, after not seeing my friends for a while, I feel like running up to them and hugging them -- like a cute scene in the movies. Well, that’s not happening.

We’re hispanic and even we feel like the whole kiss-on-the-cheek-to-say-hello is pretty much going to go extinct after this. Good luck getting me to get that close to anyone.

Maybe the new norm will be a wave? A curtsy? An army salute? We’ll figure something out, but I don’t think I’ll be touching anyone for a while.

Going to a friend’s house

“Hi! So good to see you! Where have you been in the last two weeks? Have you seen anyone who might have been sick in any way? How are you feeling? Have you sanitized your counters? Have you washed your throw pillows? Have you bathed your dog? Have you made sure you washed your hands in the last 34 seconds? No? Oh, okay… I guess we’ll try again tomorrow.”

Going to eat

Apps to share? No. Fries to share? Nope. One sauce for both of us? Absolutely not. You got thirsty and drank from my water cup? Please find a new best friend.

In summary, we think it’s going to take some time for us to be able to share again.

The “Quarantine friend”

I already miss you and this thing isn’t even over. Don’t get us wrong: Bringing people closer is definitely one of the only positive things this virus has brought. We are getting to talk to friends from high school, even middle school, who we never thought we would hear from again (since they moved to Europe and blocked half of your school on social media).

All of a sudden, we are talking every day, sharing food recipes, exercise routines, big news and political views. We have become best friends to the point we Facetime every night to “catch up” from the day (we don’t have anything to catch up, let’s be real, nothing is happening).

This is probably not going to last long, and by the time we get out of our house, this friendship will probably be back on the back burner, where it was before this started.

We’re sorry. We still love you. Talk during the next pandemic?

We are aware that there is a large percentage of the population who feels like the second they exit their homes they will start hugging strangers on the street, because they have forgotten what human contact feels like. That's understandable too...We get that. PTSD expresses itself in different ways, and, we can all agree we will be pretty damaged after this.

We’re not sure how this is going to end, but it just seems like the world is not going to go back to “normal” any time soon. Thoughts? Concerns? Hugs? (Ew. Pls don’t hug us).